sbukophile

Grumpy

Recently at a dinner party, I introduced myself to the uncle of the host, who gave me his name and then immediately told me people usually call him Grumpy. Now, I did not know how to react, because a) he looked like one of the Seven Dwarves, b) I couldn't tell if he was being self-deprecating, c) he was serious that he was usually grumpy.

I then avoided speaking to him much of the evening as I couldn't read the situation. Luckily, I did not laugh aloud and say something like, "Ha ha! You do look like one of the Seven Dwarves!" because that could have been embarrassing. It would not have been the first time I embarrassed myself like that.

One of the times, I was at my inlaws house and their close family friends were over for dinner. It was my first time meeting the friends. As we were all clearing up the dishes from the table, the wife was telling about her daughter the belly dancer. I piped in at this point with unabashed curiousity, "Belly dancer?" wanting to hear more about this profession since I didn't know any professional belly dancers. But no, I misunderstood her pronunciation (English accent and all) and she had been saying "ballet dancer." What made it more embarrassing was that she did not see the humor in my mistake, and did not even crack a smile. At least it endeared me to the inlaws for years to come as they love to tell that story over and over again, thinking it's the most hysterical thing ever because this woman is humorless and takes her kids so seriously. I was mortified at the time. I felt like the stupid American that the English people make fun of.

I don't understand humorless people.

I'm still alive

I know it's been a long time since I've posted... there have been a few reasons. I have been out gardening in our yard practically every day for weeks--it still needs a lot of work, but it's getting better (if you look closely in the two far back corners, you can see piles of yard waste and branches that I don't know how to dispose of--burning is outlawed in Southern California. I know they are hidden well behind the other shrubs, but believe me, these piles are huge!)

[Click images for larger view]

And considering how out of shape I've been, I've been darn tired, and my hands and fingers have been hurting from all the pruning!

Fun stuff though--we bought a leaf hog the other day!

(See Neil, there are plenty of trees that drop their leaves in Southern California, and I think they are ALL in our yard! We seem to be the only house in our neighborhood with deciduous trees!

I did not move from New England for all  this raking--er, leaf-hogging!)

Oh, and we've been painting inside too.

The husband's family is coming from England in stages starting in 2 weeks, so we're making things pretty for them!

But I'd like to report that all this physical activity and then lack of activity on the computer is actually a good sign that I'm FINALLY starting to decompress after all the shit I went through at my job.  I didn't think it was ever going to happen as I sat there day after day doing sudokus and nothing else. I'm still on leave, but I'm finally feeling like a normal person again--and it's been at least 2 years or more since I've felt like this.

I think that some of the major reasons I'm feeling better are a) being away from that fucking job, b) getting kittens! c) letting the kittens outside in the yard, forcing me to be out there working in the yard (and then it turning into me WANTING to go out in the yard even though I don't need to watch the kittens at every moment anymore), and d) I have a wonderful husband who has been so patient during this time and understands my need to recover.

Anyway, just wanted you all to know that I am alive.

Cousin Purdy

We received the following email from my father-in-law (affectionally called "FFIL" for "Favorite Father-in-Law". He in turn calls me "FDIL" and I'm his only daughter-in-law).  The subject line of the email was "from Perkins my cat to Jack and Niobe" [the FMIL and FFIL have a cat named Purdy who has a series of nicknames as most cats do, and one of his is "Perkins"]:

Caternal greetings from your English cousin who you never knew you had;

 

You have chosen a couple of excellent pets, now is the time to start where you mean to go, priority being to realise that they think that they are superior but in fact you are the bosses in that household.

 

For a start they can't lick their private parts like we can so waste no time in demonstrating this trick at every opportunity and don't forget their guests need similar entertaining too.  Then there is your bed which they will insist on sharing with you each night so make sure you are first onto it and stake your place.  They will fit round you.

 

If they try and give you pills hide them under the tongue until they have turned away then spit them into a corner.  Who ever heard of a siamese cat having worms anyway.

 

Make sure they give you a varied diet; If you don't like something refuse to eat it.  It will become a battle of wills but as we cats know, they will give in eventually and when the choice menu arrives eat every scrap.  Then to punish them wait until they have bought a carton of that particular food and refuse to eat it any more.  Oh how we laugh.

 

Remember they are lousy hunters so bring them a choice mouse or in your case a lizard.  They will be very touched and take it to their outside larder for eating in secret later but you will get some treats as a reward.

 

If you look around the house you will find that they have thoughtfully provided some nice rugs for claw sharpening purposes; one of my friends once had the wonderful moment of finding his pets car roof open and used his leather car seats for an extra keen sharpening of the nails so you might try that sometime.

 

I hope one day to meet you, my pets keep talking about how lovely California is although I saw the news last night and it appears to be on fire which isn't good.  I've been on my own today AGAIN while they went to something called a car boot sale with a load of things and came back very happy counting out that paper and metal stuff they carry around with them in their pockets, then my big pet went out and replaced the side door so there was sawdust everywhere which my other pet and me didn't like very much and how I laughed as she made him take all his clothes off to come indoors.  Always sad to see how little fur they have - and in places where we don't actually have any.....odd.

 

They are about to have their supper so I must go in and jump on my little pet's lap just before my big pet brings it in, that's always amusing.

 

Do write and let me know how you are getting on,

 

much purring from Purdy.